Diary of a Broken Heart

2 days before surgery

Tomorrow - barring urgent cases taking priority over mine, or my surgeon getting sick, or something of the sort - I'm going into hospital for open heart surgery.

Am I nervous? Heck yeah! There's a weird feeling of having been there done that... but I remember nothing (I was 2, last time). I know full well that I need to expect pain, and difficulty, and while I don't feel particularly scared, I'm not particularly looking forward to it, you know? I feel fairly sure that I'll get through it OK, and I figure that if something does happen, God will be looking out for me. That doesn't mean that he'll necessarily stop something bad happening, but I know from experience that he'll be there, and he'll bring me through. Those are the important things. It probably helps that I've been getting so frustrated over my declining health that I'm eager to have the surgery just for the hope of feeling better than this!