Sex and the Christian Woman

Sex.

It's something that affects every single one of us. No matter what type of life we've lived, no matter what type of life we live now. But more often than not, we're completely in the dark as to what to think about it, how to think about it, and where to start in talking about it.

Being Christian women, I'd venture to say most of us have heard the following - either direct or implied - from other Christians:

• Good Christian girls shouldn't think or talk about sex
• My sex life will be awesome, because I didn't have sex before marriage
• If I slip up and have sex before marriage, my sex life is ruined
• Don't talk about it before marriage with your boyfriend/fiance
• Sex will sort itself out just fine once I'm married
• Masturbation or touching myself is sin
• Sex isn't 'all that'
• Christian women shouldn't have oral sex/anal sex/use toys
• Men always want sex; nice girls don't
• 'Kinky' equals perversion or sexual addiction
  

I'd like to point out right here and now – that all of those statements are myths. Belief in some of them has led to some very disappointed and disillusioned Christians living a half-life when it comes to sexual intimacy with their spouses.

I realise this article and its sequels may shock some people. I know that delving into these topics can cause discomfort. That is perfectly okay, and to be expected - sex is a topic close to our hearts, and questioning our beliefs on such things is often painful.

But the fact is – we need to talk about this. If we are considering getting married, or are already married, then we need to be mature enough to handle the concept of sexuality and sexual expression. If we can talk to our partner/future spouse/spouse about finances, chores or what to do on the weekend – we can also talk about sex.

Sure, there might be some issues to consider that might not have to be considered in a topic like marital finances. But a tough topic does not justify burying our heads in the sand. So over the next few articles, I'll discuss each of those statements in a bit more detail. I'll use the Bible and real-world scenarios to help us along.

The point I'd like to leave this brief discussion with is this:

Sexuality and sexual expression is an integral aspect of our lives, given to us and blessed by God. It is not something to be ignored, ashamed about or to leave floundering in our marriages. This part of our lives and marriages is as important as finances, ministry, goals and children. And as strong Christian women, we should be doing all we can to ensure our sex lives (current or future) are as healthy and vibrant as every other part that makes us 'us'.


Sascha